Seeking to Understand

November 12, 2016

Seeking to Understand

With the Presidential election finally over, I was hoping to breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, I am still waiting for that sigh. Instead, when I inhale I have a tightness in my chest, and when I exhale it is staccato-like, because I am still trying to understand what I truly don't understand.  I believe that the lack of understanding is where this entire election failed everyone--not just democrats, but everyone, even those who are not in control of all branches. I believe this, because fundamentally the ability to understand is directly related to connecting through relationships, and anyone who knows me, knows I believe strongly in the power of relationships. So I have had to dig deep to grasp those threads of hope to which I have always been accused of clinging onto, and to attach them to my effort to understand and to believe in the rebuilding of relationships.

Oh, it is not easy, believe me. I am reading, listening, seeking. I see hatred among our leaders. I see power-hunger changing even those I used to admire. I hear the words--powerfully painful words attacking humans.  I hear lies from all sides. Even I say things I never thought I would say. None of this is with any thought of fellow human beings of all types. There is a disconnectedness starting form within families and friendships to our highest level of government to our fellow nations.  No one sees each other as human beings who have their own stories, who have something valuable to share with us. It is as though we are objects being moved within a world.

Through it all I cringe and cry, but I refuse to stop caring, because if I continue to care, I will be the one who gains more understanding and end up with stronger relationships. Yes, I will have made an effort beyond what I ever have to understand what it is to be privileged, marginalized, victimized, and maybe, yes, maybe, understand those who became mesmerized.

Believe me, I am no saint. I have been angry, sometimes even mean during this election. I have argued with people sometimes without substance. More than ever, I tried to study the issues.  However, in no time, everything unraveled into anger and accusations--to the point that I was ashamed of myself. I never wanted to lower myself to such a position.

So I continue to seek to understand, and to reach out to all kinds of people.  However, as caring and understanding as I want to be and will work at being, I will be vigilant. We all have to be vigilant--it is part of the understanding and connectedness, so that we are not  blindly taken down a dark path. That's one path in history I do not want repeated.